diff --git a/fedireads/incoming.py b/fedireads/incoming.py
index bb1d0771..40c2deb5 100644
--- a/fedireads/incoming.py
+++ b/fedireads/incoming.py
@@ -201,8 +201,8 @@ def handle_incoming_follow(activity):
     # TODO: allow users to manually approve requests
     try:
         models.UserRelationship.objects.create(
-            user_subject=to_follow,
-            user_object=user,
+            user_subject=user,
+            user_object=to_follow,
             status='follow_request',
             relationship_id=activity['id']
         )
diff --git a/fedireads/models/user.py b/fedireads/models/user.py
index f3289003..292a7906 100644
--- a/fedireads/models/user.py
+++ b/fedireads/models/user.py
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ class User(AbstractUser):
         'self',
         symmetrical=False,
         through='UserRelationship',
-        through_fields=('user_subject', 'user_object'),
+        through_fields=('user_object', 'user_subject'),
         related_name='following'
     )
     favorites = models.ManyToManyField(
diff --git a/fedireads/outgoing.py b/fedireads/outgoing.py
index e1a9c510..f91975ff 100644
--- a/fedireads/outgoing.py
+++ b/fedireads/outgoing.py
@@ -88,8 +88,8 @@ def handle_outgoing_follow(user, to_follow):
 def handle_outgoing_unfollow(user, to_unfollow):
     ''' someone local wants to follow someone '''
     relationship = models.UserRelationship.objects.get(
-        user_object=user,
-        user_subject=to_unfollow
+        user_subject=user,
+        user_object=to_unfollow
     )
     activity = activitypub.get_unfollow(relationship)
     errors = broadcast(user, activity, [to_unfollow.inbox])