diff --git a/bookwyrm/forms.py b/bookwyrm/forms.py
index ffb7581e5..290e01877 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/forms.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/forms.py
@@ -297,7 +297,7 @@ class ListForm(CustomForm):
 
 class GroupForm(CustomForm):
     class Meta:
-        model = models.Group
+        model = models.BookwyrmGroup
         fields = ["user", "privacy", "name", "description"]
 
 class ReportForm(CustomForm):
diff --git a/bookwyrm/models/__init__.py b/bookwyrm/models/__init__.py
index a4a06ebad..7ac41f1b9 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/models/__init__.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/models/__init__.py
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ from .relationship import UserFollows, UserFollowRequest, UserBlocks
 from .report import Report, ReportComment
 from .federated_server import FederatedServer
 
-from .group import Group, GroupMember
+from .group import BookwyrmGroup, BookwyrmGroupMember, GroupMemberInvitation
 
 from .import_job import ImportJob, ImportItem
 
diff --git a/bookwyrm/models/group.py b/bookwyrm/models/group.py
index ea162b2a4..103764d2d 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/models/group.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/models/group.py
@@ -1,14 +1,14 @@
 """ do book related things with other users """
 from django.apps import apps
-from django.db import models
-from django.utils import timezone
-
+from django.db import models, IntegrityError, models, transaction
+from django.db.models import Q
 from bookwyrm.settings import DOMAIN
 from .base_model import BookWyrmModel
 from . import fields
+from .relationship import UserBlocks
+# from .user import User
 
-
-class Group(BookWyrmModel):
+class BookwyrmGroup(BookWyrmModel):
     """A group of users"""
 
     name = fields.CharField(max_length=100)
@@ -16,27 +16,138 @@ class Group(BookWyrmModel):
         "User", on_delete=models.PROTECT)
     description = fields.TextField(blank=True, null=True)
     privacy = fields.PrivacyField()
-    members = models.ManyToManyField(
-        "User",
-        symmetrical=False,
-        through="GroupMember",
-        through_fields=("group", "user"),
-        related_name="bookwyrm_groups"
-    )
 
-    def get_remote_id(self):
-        """don't want the user to be in there in this case"""
-        return f"https://{DOMAIN}/group/{self.id}"
-
-class GroupMember(models.Model):
+class BookwyrmGroupMember(models.Model):
     """Users who are members of a group"""
-
-    group = models.ForeignKey("Group", on_delete=models.CASCADE)
-    user = models.ForeignKey("User", on_delete=models.CASCADE)
+    created_date = models.DateTimeField(auto_now_add=True)
+    updated_date = models.DateTimeField(auto_now=True)
+    group = models.ForeignKey(
+        "BookwyrmGroup", 
+        on_delete=models.CASCADE,
+        related_name="memberships"
+    )
+    user = models.ForeignKey(
+        "User", 
+        on_delete=models.CASCADE,
+        related_name="memberships"
+        )
 
     class Meta:
         constraints = [
           models.UniqueConstraint(
-            fields=["group", "user"], name="unique_member"
+            fields=["group", "user"], name="unique_membership"
           )
-        ]
\ No newline at end of file
+        ]
+
+    def save(self, *args, **kwargs):
+        """don't let a user invite someone who blocked them"""
+        # blocking in either direction is a no-go
+        if UserBlocks.objects.filter(
+            Q(
+                user_subject=self.group.user,
+                user_object=self.user,
+            )
+            | Q(
+                user_subject=self.user,
+                user_object=self.group.user,
+            )
+        ).exists():
+            raise IntegrityError()
+        # accepts and requests are handled by the BookwyrmGroupInvitation model
+        super().save(*args, **kwargs)
+
+    @classmethod
+    def from_request(cls, join_request):
+        """converts a join request into a member relationship"""
+
+        # remove the invite
+        join_request.delete()
+
+        # make a group member
+        return cls.objects.create(
+            user=join_request.user,
+            group=join_request.group,
+        )
+
+
+class GroupMemberInvitation(models.Model):
+    """adding a user to a group requires manual confirmation"""
+    created_date = models.DateTimeField(auto_now_add=True)
+    group = models.ForeignKey(
+        "BookwyrmGroup", 
+        on_delete=models.CASCADE,
+        related_name="user_invitations"
+    )
+    user = models.ForeignKey(
+        "User", 
+        on_delete=models.CASCADE,
+        related_name="group_invitations"
+        )
+
+    class Meta:
+        constraints = [
+          models.UniqueConstraint(
+            fields=["group", "user"], name="unique_invitation"
+          )
+        ]
+    def save(self, *args, **kwargs):  # pylint: disable=arguments-differ
+        """make sure the membership doesn't already exist"""
+        # if there's an invitation for a membership that already exists, accept it
+        # without changing the local database state
+        if BookwyrmGroupMember.objects.filter(
+            user=self.user,
+            group=self.group
+        ).exists():
+            self.accept()
+            return
+
+        # blocking in either direction is a no-go
+        if UserBlocks.objects.filter(
+            Q(
+                user_subject=self.group.user,
+                user_object=self.user,
+            )
+            | Q(
+                user_subject=self.user,
+                user_object=self.group.user,
+            )
+        ).exists():
+            raise IntegrityError()
+
+        # make an invitation
+        super().save(*args, **kwargs)
+
+        # now send the invite
+        model = apps.get_model("bookwyrm.Notification", require_ready=True)
+        notification_type = "INVITE"
+        model.objects.create(
+            user=self.user,
+            related_user=self.group.user,
+            related_group=self.group,
+            notification_type=notification_type,
+        )
+
+    def accept(self):
+        """turn this request into the real deal"""
+
+        with transaction.atomic():
+            BookwyrmGroupMember.from_request(self)
+            self.delete()
+
+            # let the other members know about it
+            model = apps.get_model("bookwyrm.Notification", require_ready=True)
+            for member in self.group.members.all:
+                if member != self.user:
+                    model.objects.create(
+                        user=member,
+                        related_user=self.user,
+                        related_group=self.group,
+                        notification_type="ACCEPT",
+                    )
+
+    def reject(self):
+        """generate a Reject for this membership request"""
+
+        self.delete()
+
+        # TODO: send notification
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/bookwyrm/models/list.py b/bookwyrm/models/list.py
index 7ea33a8b6..498026326 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/models/list.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/models/list.py
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ class List(OrderedCollectionMixin, BookWyrmModel):
         max_length=255, default="closed", choices=CurationType.choices
     )
     group = models.ForeignKey(
-        "Group",
+        "BookwyrmGroup",
         on_delete=models.PROTECT,
         default=None,
         blank=True,
@@ -101,6 +101,9 @@ class ListItem(CollectionItemMixin, BookWyrmModel):
                 notification_type="ADD",
             )
 
+        # TODO: send a notification to all team members except the one who added the book
+        # for team curated lists
+
     class Meta:
         """A book may only be placed into a list once,
         and each order in the list may be used only once"""
diff --git a/bookwyrm/models/notification.py b/bookwyrm/models/notification.py
index a4968f61f..3632fa10f 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/models/notification.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/models/notification.py
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ from . import Boost, Favorite, ImportJob, Report, Status, User
 
 NotificationType = models.TextChoices(
     "NotificationType",
-    "FAVORITE REPLY MENTION TAG FOLLOW FOLLOW_REQUEST BOOST IMPORT ADD REPORT",
+    "FAVORITE REPLY MENTION TAG FOLLOW FOLLOW_REQUEST BOOST IMPORT ADD REPORT INVITE ACCEPT",
 )
 
 
@@ -19,6 +19,12 @@ class Notification(BookWyrmModel):
     related_user = models.ForeignKey(
         "User", on_delete=models.CASCADE, null=True, related_name="related_user"
     )
+    related_group_member = models.ForeignKey(
+        "User", on_delete=models.CASCADE, null=True, related_name="related_group_member"
+    )
+    related_group = models.ForeignKey(
+        "BookwyrmGroup", on_delete=models.CASCADE, null=True, related_name="notifications"
+    )
     related_status = models.ForeignKey("Status", on_delete=models.CASCADE, null=True)
     related_import = models.ForeignKey("ImportJob", on_delete=models.CASCADE, null=True)
     related_list_item = models.ForeignKey(
@@ -37,6 +43,8 @@ class Notification(BookWyrmModel):
             user=self.user,
             related_book=self.related_book,
             related_user=self.related_user,
+            related_group_member=self.related_group_member,
+            related_group=self.related_group,
             related_status=self.related_status,
             related_import=self.related_import,
             related_list_item=self.related_list_item,
diff --git a/bookwyrm/models/user.py b/bookwyrm/models/user.py
index 637baa6ee..0e1397949 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/models/user.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/models/user.py
@@ -143,6 +143,11 @@ class User(OrderedCollectionPageMixin, AbstractUser):
     property_fields = [("following_link", "following")]
     field_tracker = FieldTracker(fields=["name", "avatar"])
 
+    # @property
+    # def bookwyrm_groups(self):
+    #     group_ids = bookwyrm_group_membership.values_list("user", flat=True)
+    #     return BookwyrmGroup.objects.in_bulk(group_ids).values()
+
     @property
     def confirmation_link(self):
         """helper for generating confirmation links"""
diff --git a/bookwyrm/urls.py b/bookwyrm/urls.py
index 30ffc8689..05f8ceffe 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/urls.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/urls.py
@@ -253,10 +253,13 @@ urlpatterns = [
     re_path(r"^hide-suggestions/?$", views.hide_suggestions, name="hide-suggestions"),
     # groups
     re_path(rf"{USER_PATH}/groups/?$", views.UserGroups.as_view(), name="user-groups"),
-    re_path(r"^group/(?P<group_id>\d+)(.json)?/?$", views.Group.as_view(), name="group"),
+    re_path(r"^group/(?P<group_id>\d+)(.json)?/?$", views.BookwyrmGroup.as_view(), name="group"),
     re_path(r"^group/(?P<group_id>\d+)/add-users/?$", views.FindUsers.as_view(), name="group-find-users"),
-    re_path(r"^add-group-member/?$", views.add_member, name="add-group-member"),
-    re_path(r"^remove-group-member/?$", views.remove_member, name="remove-group-member"),
+    re_path(r"^add-group-member/?$", views.invite_member, name="invite-group-member"),
+    re_path(r"^add-group-member/?$", views.uninvite_member, name="uninvite-group-member"),
+    re_path(r"^add-group-member/?$", views.uninvite_member, name="uninvite-group-member"),
+    re_path(r"^accept-group-invitation/?$", views.accept_membership, name="accept-group-invitation"),
+    re_path(r"^reject-group-invitation/?$", views.reject_membership, name="reject-group-invitation"),
     # lists
     re_path(rf"{USER_PATH}/lists/?$", views.UserLists.as_view(), name="user-lists"),
     re_path(r"^list/?$", views.Lists.as_view(), name="lists"),
diff --git a/bookwyrm/views/__init__.py b/bookwyrm/views/__init__.py
index 4d93c5973..fb9e72bc2 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/views/__init__.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/views/__init__.py
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ from .follow import follow, unfollow
 from .follow import accept_follow_request, delete_follow_request
 from .get_started import GetStartedBooks, GetStartedProfile, GetStartedUsers
 from .goal import Goal, hide_goal
-from .group import Group, UserGroups, FindUsers, add_member, remove_member
+from .group import BookwyrmGroup, UserGroups, FindUsers, invite_member, remove_member, uninvite_member, accept_membership, reject_membership
 from .import_data import Import, ImportStatus
 from .inbox import Inbox
 from .interaction import Favorite, Unfavorite, Boost, Unboost
diff --git a/bookwyrm/views/group.py b/bookwyrm/views/group.py
index 3e1785cce..09bb0dcad 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/views/group.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/views/group.py
@@ -18,13 +18,13 @@ from .helpers import privacy_filter
 from .helpers import get_user_from_username
 from bookwyrm.settings import DOMAIN
 
-class Group(View):
+class BookwyrmGroup(View):
     """group page"""
 
     def get(self, request, group_id):
         """display a group"""
 
-        group = get_object_or_404(models.Group, id=group_id)
+        group = get_object_or_404(models.BookwyrmGroup, id=group_id)
         lists = models.List.objects.filter(group=group).order_by("-updated_date")
         lists = privacy_filter(request.user, lists)
 
@@ -43,7 +43,7 @@ class Group(View):
     @method_decorator(login_required, name="dispatch")
     def post(self, request, group_id):
         """edit a group"""
-        user_group = get_object_or_404(models.Group, id=group_id)
+        user_group = get_object_or_404(models.BookwyrmGroup, id=group_id)
         form = forms.GroupForm(request.POST, instance=user_group)
         if not form.is_valid():
             return redirect("group", user_group.id)
@@ -57,11 +57,12 @@ class UserGroups(View):
     def get(self, request, username):
         """display a group"""
         user = get_user_from_username(request.user, username)
-        groups = models.Group.objects.filter(members=user).order_by("-updated_date")
-        # groups = privacy_filter(request.user, groups)
+        groups = user.bookwyrmgroup_set.all() # follow the relationship backwards, nice
         paginated = Paginator(groups, 12)
 
         data = {
+            "groups": paginated.get_page(request.GET.get("page")),
+            "is_self": request.user.id == user.id,
             "user": user,
             "group_form": forms.GroupForm(),
             "path": user.local_path + "/group",
@@ -77,7 +78,7 @@ class UserGroups(View):
             return redirect(request.user.local_path + "groups")
         group = form.save()
         # add the creator as a group member
-        models.GroupMember.objects.create(group=group, user=request.user)
+        models.BookwyrmGroupMember.objects.create(group=group, user=request.user)
         return redirect("group", group.id)
 
 @method_decorator(login_required, name="dispatch")
@@ -109,21 +110,22 @@ class FindUsers(View):
                 request.user
             )
 
-        group = get_object_or_404(models.Group, id=group_id)
+        group = get_object_or_404(models.BookwyrmGroup, id=group_id)
 
-        data["suggested_users"] = user_results
-        data["group"] = group
-        data["query"] = query
-        data["requestor_is_manager"] = request.user == group.user
+        data = {
+          "suggested_users": user_results,
+          "group": group,
+          "query": query,
+          "requestor_is_manager": request.user == group.user
+        }
         return TemplateResponse(request, "groups/find_users.html", data)
 
 @require_POST
 @login_required
-def add_member(request):
-    """add a member to the group"""
+def invite_member(request):
+    """invite a member to the group"""
 
-    # TODO: if groups become AP values we need something like get_group_from_group_fullname
-    group = get_object_or_404(models.Group, id=request.POST.get("group"))
+    group = get_object_or_404(models.BookwyrmGroup, id=request.POST.get("group"))
     if not group:
         return HttpResponseBadRequest()
 
@@ -135,28 +137,42 @@ def add_member(request):
         return HttpResponseBadRequest()
 
     try:
-        models.GroupMember.objects.create(
-          group=group,
-          user=user
-        )
+        models.GroupMemberInvitation.objects.create(
+          user=user, 
+          group=group
+          )
 
     except IntegrityError:
         pass
 
-# TODO: actually this needs to be associated with the user ACCEPTING AN INVITE!!! DOH!
+    return redirect(user.local_path)
 
-    """create a notification too"""
-    # notify all team members when a user is added to the group
-    model = apps.get_model("bookwyrm.Notification", require_ready=True)
-    for team_member in group.members.all():
-        if team_member.local and team_member != request.user:
-            model.objects.create(
-                user=team_member,
-                related_user=request.user,
-                related_group_member=user,
-                related_group=group,
-                notification_type="ADD",
-            )
+@require_POST
+@login_required
+def uninvite_member(request):
+    """invite a member to the group"""
+
+    group = get_object_or_404(models.BookwyrmGroup, id=request.POST.get("group"))
+    if not group:
+        return HttpResponseBadRequest()
+
+    user = get_user_from_username(request.user, request.POST["user"])
+    if not user:
+        return HttpResponseBadRequest()
+
+    if not group.user == request.user:
+        return HttpResponseBadRequest()
+
+    try:
+        invitation = models.GroupMemberInvitation.objects.get(
+          user=user, 
+          group=group
+          )
+
+        invitation.reject()
+
+    except IntegrityError:
+        pass
 
     return redirect(user.local_path)
 
@@ -168,10 +184,11 @@ def remove_member(request):
     # TODO: send notification to user telling them they have been removed
     # TODO: remove yourself from a group!!!! (except owner)
     # FUTURE TODO: transfer ownership of group
+    # THIS LOGIC SHOULD BE IN MODEL
 
     # TODO: if groups become AP values we need something like get_group_from_group_fullname
     # group = get_object_or_404(models.Group, id=request.POST.get("group")) # NOTE: does this not work?
-    group = models.Group.objects.get(id=request.POST["group"])
+    group = models.BookwyrmGroup.objects.get(id=request.POST["group"])
     if not group:
         return HttpResponseBadRequest()
 
@@ -183,11 +200,52 @@ def remove_member(request):
         return HttpResponseBadRequest()
 
     try:
-        membership = models.GroupMember.objects.get(group=group,user=user)
+        membership = models.BookwyrmGroupMember.objects.get(group=group,user=user) # BUG: wrong
         membership.delete()
 
     except IntegrityError:
-        print("no integrity")
         pass
 
-    return redirect(user.local_path)
\ No newline at end of file
+    return redirect(user.local_path)
+
+@require_POST
+@login_required
+def accept_membership(request):
+    """accept an invitation to join a group"""
+
+    group = models.BookwyrmGroup.objects.get(id=request.POST["group"])
+    if not group:
+        return HttpResponseBadRequest()
+
+    invite = models.GroupMemberInvitation.objects.get(group=group,user=request.user)
+    if not invite:
+        return HttpResponseBadRequest()
+
+    try:
+        invite.accept()
+
+    except IntegrityError:
+        pass
+
+    return redirect(request.user.local_path)
+
+@require_POST
+@login_required
+def reject_membership(request):
+    """reject an invitation to join a group"""
+
+    group = models.BookwyrmGroup.objects.get(id=request.POST["group"])
+    if not group:
+        return HttpResponseBadRequest()
+
+    invite = models.GroupMemberInvitation.objects.get(group=group,user=request.user)
+    if not invite:
+        return HttpResponseBadRequest()
+
+    try:
+        invite.reject()
+
+    except IntegrityError:
+        pass
+
+    return redirect(request.user.local_path)
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/bookwyrm/views/user.py b/bookwyrm/views/user.py
index d3f52e729..562c49335 100644
--- a/bookwyrm/views/user.py
+++ b/bookwyrm/views/user.py
@@ -1,5 +1,4 @@
 """ non-interactive pages """
-from bookwyrm.models.group import GroupMember
 from django.contrib.auth.decorators import login_required
 from django.core.paginator import Paginator
 from django.shortcuts import redirect
@@ -83,7 +82,6 @@ class User(View):
         data = {
             "user": user,
             "is_self": is_self,
-            "has_groups": models.GroupMember.objects.filter(user=user).exists(),
             "shelves": shelf_preview,
             "shelf_count": shelves.count(),
             "activities": paginated.get_page(request.GET.get("page", 1)),
@@ -142,7 +140,7 @@ class Groups(View):
         user = get_user_from_username(request.user, username)
 
         paginated = Paginator(
-            GroupMember.objects.filter(user=user)
+            models.BookwyrmGroup.memberships.filter(user=user)
         )
         data = {
             "user": user,